


A Quiet Moment

by sceal



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sceal/pseuds/sceal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michonne tells Rick about her son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Quiet Moment

Their house was dark and silent, the kids tucked in for the night. Michonne sat on the couch, her body aching after every able body in Alexandria had spent the entire week planting crops per the command of their resident dictator, Maggie.

Even though Michonne was sore, humoring the pregnant woman was worth the discomfort. This was all part of Maggie’s prenatal nesting process. Lord knew that as soon as the baby came, Maggie wouldn’t have time for any of her projects. Those first few sleepless months with the newborn would be hard.

Michonne’s son had been fussy – he’d had the hardest time latching onto her breast at first. She’d felt like such a failure as a mother and as a woman, devastated that her body couldn’t do something so basic and primal. Logically she’d known that it wasn’t the act of lactation that made you a good mother, but she’d felt vulnerable and insecure about her abilities as a new parent so logic had flown right out the window.

So, Michonne liked to help Maggie out where she could, ensure that when the baby came, the mama-bear would be happy and rested and ready to take on the next challenge with grace and aplomb.

On the small screen of the baby monitor, Judith slept peacefully. She was such a happy, quiet soul.  Michonne wondered what her first word would be and when it would come.

“Do you want one of those?” Rick said. He nodded towards Judith, his meaning unmistakable and shattering. _Do you want a kid?_ He was sprawled beside her on the couch, pensively staring at her with a small smile.

Sometimes, she let herself pretend that Andre Anthony was spending the weekend at his grandparents’ house and that she could go and fetch him whenever she wanted.

His smile faded, probably at the look in her eyes. He immediately straightened and reached out to hold her hands. “What is it?”

She had to tell him.

She needed him to know why talking about any potential future child eviscerated her.

“You know how I used to talk to my dead boyfriend?” Michonne said.

“Just like I talked to Lori.  Hearing you say that made me feel less crazy.”

“I also dragged him around with me, leading him by a chain I tied to his neck. I cut off his jaw and his arms.”

Rick didn’t run screaming from the room at her admission. That had to be a good sign. “After he became a walker?”

“Yes,” Michonne said. In another lifetime, she would’ve been insulted Rick thought she could do that to a human. She now knew the dark part of herself too well for that. “I did the same thing to his friend.”

“They protected you from the other walkers,” Rick said.

“I didn’t know that when I did it,” Michonne said. “I wanted to punish them.”

“For what?”

“I had a son,” she said, her voice echoing in the stillness of the living room.

Wordlessly, Rick took hold of her and pulled her into his arms. She settled herself in the comfort of his embrace. 

Her grief was a constant physical ache. It was as if a walker had gnawed on her chest and she’d been forced to hack off the infected area.  She’d survived the attack, but a part of her flesh and blood was missing and the wound had never healed right or even at all.  “He was three years old.”

“What was his name?”

“Andre Anthony,” Michonne said.  “Our camp was overrun by walkers when I was out on a run. I told Carl about him. I said his father and his best friend couldn’t protect my baby because they were high.”

There was a beat of silence. “I’m glad you told Carl.  I’m glad you didn’t carry this alone.”

“It wasn’t their fault though,” Michonne said. “They’d smoked a little but not irresponsibly. There were just too many walkers.  Mike and Terry died trying to protect my son. I know that. But I couldn’t forgive them for failing.”

Rick cupped her face. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Michonne hid her face in his shirt and let the tears come.  She wept, soaking the cotton fabric. He rubbed soothing circles on her back.  Rick sat quietly beside her and provided her with a safe space to cry until her eyes were dry.

He kissed her forehead. “I will always protect our children.”

“I know,” Michonne said.  Rick might only be talking about Carl and Judith, or he could be hinting that he wanted to have a kid with her too. One day she would tell Rick that she wanted to have a baby with him. For now, she lay in his arms and grieved over the son she had lost.

 


End file.
